UFOs & Unpaid Taxes by Rachel Ford

Author:Rachel Ford [Ford, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B07N511L2F
Goodreads: 44425388
Published: 2019-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

Alfred slept a little during the day, but his companion’s constant consumption of television roused him more than once. He shortly came to the conclusion that Li was straightforward almost to a fault, and as a consequence easily amused. Nothing he saw gave him pause. He wept at the soap operas, laughed at the sitcoms, and fretted over news broadcasts. And as soon as one ended, his emotions evolved to match the landscape of the next.

Throughout this, the taxman managed to glean something of Li’s people. It happened after one of the soap operas concluded. The alien, brushing tears away, said, “Ah, but your human mating rituals are a source of endless drama.”

This was true enough, though Alfred resented the idea of measuring human interaction by soap operas. It was almost as bad as viewing reality through the prism of reality TV, and he told Li as much.

The alien seemed confused, and for a minute they were silent. “You are one of the males of your species, aren’t you, Alfred Favero?”

“Yes.”

He nodded.

“And you?” the taxman ventured. He’d assumed Li was male, but the fact was, he wasn’t always certain. There was a distinct ambiguity to the alien that made assigning a gender rather difficult.

“Oh, my people are – how do you say it? Genderless.”

“Genderless? Really?”

“Yes. You tend to perceive us as male, but we never had a need to evolve into distinct genders. Our reproduction is asexual.”

“Asexual?” Alfred couldn’t help but pity the species. That didn’t sound like much fun.

“Yes. So, you see, we spare ourselves the drama that you must suffer, if your species is to survive. We do not take mates, as you do, but rather we choose life partners based on interests and compatibility. It is not so…” He hesitated for a moment, as if searching his mind for the right word. “Sentimental as your traditions. But, neither is it so fraught with disappointment or chaos.”

“Do you fall in love?” Alfred asked.

“We have the utmost regard for our partners,” Li assured him. “When I am of age, I shall be matched to a partner, and I’m sure we will be very compatible.”

“Sounds…very romantic,” the human said, managing to keep most of the sarcasm out of his tone.

“Oh, no. Not at all. My people do not indulge in anything so foolish as romance.”

“Your people?” Alfred wondered. “Who are they?”

“Our name – in our own language – is rather difficult for your people to pronounce. But we are called by humans Geejays.”

“Geejays?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Li explained. “For the name of our planet, according to your star charts, is GJ two hundred seventy-three b.”

NASA clearly didn’t assign their best brains to the naming committee, Alfred thought. Aloud, though, he said, “That’s, uhh, an interesting name.”

“Yes,” the alien smiled. “It sounds rather pleasant. Musical. We like it.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good.”

Their conversation moved to other topics, and Alfred quickly ascertained that, for all Li’s lack of guile, his were a clever people. Their advances in space travel technology were years ahead of Earth’s.

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